Monday, November 27, 2006

What To Do! What To DO!

I was wringing my hands and the "HOT Flashes" were coming fast and furious the past few days. I knew I was too tense.

This pending confrontation between my husband and the "dollies" in "The Dollie Storage Room" was getting to be too much for me. Something was going to explode and I hoped it wasn't going to be me.

But, I still didn't know what to do!

What should I DO?

How should I handle this?

I certainly can't chose between my "husband - my soul mate!" and my "dollies - the very essence of me!" Could I? Would they really want me to?

I knew that if I were to tell my husband about the notes and the "dollies" concerns that he would tell me, "I'm not going to spend money to provide air conditioning and heat for inanimate objects. It's bad enough that I'm paying for a house that is WAY TOO BIG just to house all 1,496 of the "dollies." Why, they're lucky they have a room of their own."

Plus, since we'd just come back from a visit to my family I was sure he'd add, "It's bad enough I have to put up with all four of my brother's-in-law unmerciful teasing about living in a "doll house." I am not going to spend my "hard-earned" money to pay for the electrical costs of heating and air conditioning "The Dollie Storage Room."

If I thought about it from a mature and sensible manner I would have to agree that he was right. They were inanimate objects after all. But, I had made them. They were part of me. I couldn't let them down. It would be like letting myself down. Wouldn't it?

I also knew that if I pushed my husband to far he would threaten to sell all the "dollies" at the next garage sale and he was usually true to his word. I, of course, would not allow that to happen which would create a HUGE rift between us. I had to act quickly.

Plus, I had finally found out what the "SPCD" was and I knew I didn't want them involved in what I considered to be "a FAMILY matter."

If you've been following all the posts on this saga of "The Dollie Storage Room" you have to be wondering what the "SPCD" is. Right?

Okay, I'll tell you. It's "The Society For The Prevention Of Cruelty To Dollies!" I'll bet you've never heard of it either? Have you?

Well, I knew I hadn't. After further research I decided that I didn't want them involved. We were going to have to settle this by ourselves. And, QUICKLY?

So, I devised a plan........

Monday, November 13, 2006

We're Going To The SPCD!

Things had been calm for a few days before I received the SECOND note.

This note was neatly folded and left under my pillow with a chocolate. I thought the chocolate was a nice touch even though I have acid reflux and can't eat chocolate. It was still a nice gesture.

This time the note was printed on a pretty blue flowered stationary and, again, written in the same beautiful calligraphy. I made a mental note that I absolutely HAD to find out who was so talented and where did they learn their calligraphy? Plus, this note also contained the most wondrous scent. Who was the perfume designer?

Once again, this note was addressed "Confidential - To Linda - For Your Eyes Only!"

It simply said:

We know you love him dearly!
And, he is your husband of many, many, many years!
And, we guess, technically he's - OUR DAD!
He is becoming obsessed with the electric meter!"

It went on further.

Do you know how many times a day this past summer he went out to look at the electric meter?

Do you know that sometimes when he looks at it he stays there for a long period of time as if he's in a trance from the spinning meter - all the while mumbling incoherent curse words?

When he comes out of his trance he starts cursing, swearing, stomping, and jumping up and down. Like a maniac!!!!! Like a mad leprechaun with smoke coming out his ears!!!!!

He then makes a beeline into the house and the next thing we know it's boiling in here.


We simply cannot have him doing this with the heat in the winter. The results would be catastrophic.

Our hands are tied. Unless someting is done you leave us with no alternative. We will have no choice but to take this to "SPCD."

Well, now I knew where the note was coming from.

I still didn't know who was writing the note in that wonderful, wonderful calligraphy. Or, where they got the money to buy the stationary in the first place? Or, who the perfume designer was? Or, what the "SPCD" was.

All I knew was they were getting desperate and I had to do something right away. Bad news all around.

However, the good news was that I knew the note was coming from someone in "The Dollie Storage Room."

You see, the electric meter is right outside the "The Dollie Storage Room" and the dolls are all well positioned to see it and my husband's maniacal behavior.

I had to admit he really was becoming obsessed with the electric meter and the weather. Retirement was getting the better of him.

I thought to myself, "He needs a JOB!!!! Something to occupy his mind besides the electric bill and the weather."

I started to wring my hands and with the tension could feel a "hot flash" coming on. This wasn't good - I HATE hot flashes!

And, yes something HAD to be done.

However, it was going to take delicate diplomacy. My husband versus my "dollie" children - the very essence of me! Hmmm.......

Did this then mean it was going to be a confrontation between my husband and the "dollies?"

If so, WHO WOULD WIN? Would there be a winner? And, what would the outcome be?

I only hoped it would not come down to a choice between them or my husband. And, what was the "SPCD?"

I knew 'd better try to find that out right away. I surmised it had to do with a "governmental" agency and I knew I didn't need that.

So, I entered "SPCD" into my "Google" browser window. The results were surprising. I'd never heard of such an agency!

Wednesday, November 1, 2006

Something Has To Be Done About Him!

Since I'd started to write the dolls' stories on my blogs I thought everything was quiet and calm in "The Dollie Storage Room." Little did I know another storm was brewing - and it had to do with my HUSBAND!

I had been merrily blogging away on my computer when I suddenly noticed a piece of blue stationary underneath my computer keyboard. I didn't know what it was or why it was there. So, I pulled it out.

It was a neatly folded piece of stationary that was handwritten in the most beautiful calligraphy that you'd ever want to see. It was addressed "Confidential - To Linda - For Your Eyes Only!" Hmmmm.......

Several thoughts were running through my mind. What was this about? Who sent it? And, where did they learn to do write such beautiful calligraphy?

So, I opened the stationary. Inside was a note to me that simply said:

Something must be done about him!
About the curmudgeon!
He has gone too far this time and is carrying conservation to the extreme!
We don't want to, but we may have to take this to the "SPCD!"
Please help us!

I was curious on several counts. Not as to who the curmudgeon was - I knew who that was.
But, I was curious for several reasons. Who had written the note in beautiful calligraphy? Whose stationary was that and where did they get it? What fragrance did they use to create such a wonderful smelling piece of paper? And, what was the SPCD?

I wasn't as worried about their demands or what the issue was since I knew who the curmudgeon was and I was sure if it involved him - it wasn't good.
So, I decided to wait a few more days to see if there would be another note.
I went back to blogging.