Monday, August 14, 2006

The Dollie Fashion Show Series- Setting the Guidelines!

"Okay, ladies...Um...I mean "dollies" settle down. We can't discuss this until everyone is settled down."

"Ladies..Um.."dollies" please let's settle down. I'd like to get this meeting started."

"Ladies, Um..Gentlemen, Um..Girls, Um....Boys, Um..Snowmen, Um...Raggedies. Um... Let's all get in our seats, please! We can't get this meeting started until it's a little quieter in here and everyone is settled down."

"Please, would everyone please take their seats!"

"Ladies...Um..."Dollies" PLEASE settle down."

"ALL RIGHT! THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" Linda said. "If this room does not quiet down in the next minute you are all going to the bottom of the "dollie" scrap material pile - never to be seen or heard from again. Maybe even taken apart to be remade into something else! Like a pillow or a crazy quilt!"

"YIKES!" And, with that statement you could hear a pin drop in "The Dollie Storage Room."

After all, the "dollies" all prided themselves on their own beauty, their own uniqueness, their own wonderfulness, their own individuality. They could never allow themselves to be taken apart for scraps of material to make a pillow or a crazy quilt. No way! Why that was just inhuman!

But, alas, they were only "dollies" and Linda could do what she wanted with them. Even make them into crazy quilts if she wanted to. But, she wouldn't ever do such a thing - would she?

None of the "dollies" knew and none of them wanted to take that chance and find out. No sireee!!!! None of them. So, they all settled down and the meeting began.

"Okay, ladies and gentlemen -- I mean "dollies, animals, snowmen, raggedies, primitives, witches, pumpkins, dolls...." When I say "dollies" I mean all of you, okay? Not male, not female. Not boy, not girl. Not animal, not snowmen. I'm using the term "dollies" to encompass all of you. Okay?"

"If you're in agreement, please raise your hands," Linda said.

And, with that all of the "dollies" raised their hands (that is, if they had hands). Some of the animals raised their paws and some of the other crafts tipped their heads, bowed, honked or did something to indicate they were in agreement.

"So, let's get this meeting started," Linda said. "We're here to discuss the parameters or guidelines for "The Dollie Fashion Show!" "Here's what I think we should do," Linda said. "I think we should....."

"Excuse me, excuse me!" the Victorian Linda doll said as she rose. "Don't you think someone with "Fashion Show" experience should decide how a "Fashion Show" is run?"

The other dolls all thought that the Victorian Linda doll was very brave to confront the human Linda on this. But, then again, she was named after the human Linda so who better to confront the human Linda then Linda - the Victorian Linda.

"Why, YES I do," Linda said. "That's why I'm setting the guidelines and the parameters. So, can we continue?"

"Wait a minute," Doris Marie cried. "That implies that you have "Fashion Show" experience. Do you? Is that true?"

"Yeah, is that true?" Celia chirped in.

"I bet she doesn't have any," Rag-doll Anthony stated and then sat down quickly so the Linda wouldn't know that who said that.

"Yeah! Yeah! We need experience," the "dollies" all started chanting. " We need experience!" "Someone who has actually been in a "Fashion Show" or two, or three." "Yeah, someone with experience should set the parameters and guidelines." Yeah!"

Linda raised her hand and, once again, you could hear a pin drop in "The Dollie Storage Room."

"Why, as a matter of fact I do have "Fashion Show" experience," the human Linda stated.

"You do? You do? You do?" they all exclaimed. "Prove it!"

"Okay, smarty pants! If you don't believe me take a look at your computer monitors," Linda stated.

And with that a collective "gasp!" was heard in "The Dollie Storage Room!"

On their computer screens was a picture of a beautiful, statuesque young woman who was obviously modeling in a "Fashion Show."

"Who is that?" Jael Loves Her Smile asked her brother "Baptist and His Smile."

"You don't recognize her Jael?" Baptist replied. "Why, that's Linda. The human Linda"

"It is," Jael replied and looked very closely at her monitor.

It was definitely, Linda. Albeit 35 years ago. But, it was definitely Linda. All 5' 10" of her. Definitely, model height. Model weight. Definitely modeling in a fashion show. Definitely had "Fashion Show" experience.

Boy, the styles 35 years ago would be right in fashion today. Wouldn't they? Hey, you know. What's in fashion is out of fashion, then in fashion, then out of fashion. On and on it goes.

But, the picture was definitely Linda. No one could believe how wonderful Linda looked. Was this a compliment?

"So," the real Linda asked "does anyone else in this room have any "Fashion Show" experience besides me?" "If you do, then please raise your hands."

No one did. Not one "dollie." No one.

"That's what I thought," Linda said. "So, where was I? Ah, yes. Setting the guidelines and parameters for "The Dollie Fashion Show."

And with that stated the meeting began again ......


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